ynnydiary

  i sit and stare at repeated faces and glances at me i cannot compare  theres two of us is there two of us? there’s no space for i sit and stare at repeated faces  oh i can’t get past this  cast it on back still this  put a reflection  solid, you can stand on this you can stand on it and still don’t get it so i sit and stare  when i’ll meet when will i meet? a face to compare  and sit next to me let me be there  and we can just breathe  breathe the same air  but don’t take all of me out of the room all of me i still don’t get it  you don’t get me

  watching the clock spin as we all spin and we all spend  our time in  our timing come find it confinement  and i  i’ve come to know i cannot grow past this passed that all i have is imagine no past tense imagined  by you your truth it burns a hole in me never to be free never to be free it all came and went before me all set in stone was formed for    before me before me  clock on the wall numbers go on numbers go all before me so long soon to never be gone belong nowhere there’s no where  to be  oh to be free is the wall that watches 

  you know the sound of no limitation   i hate the feel of your persuasion  yea your presence is perfection i always fall for your temptation  stuck here contemplating  i always fall for your temptation  perfect persuading  words fall off your mouth  for a conned consumption  consummate one mistake with me i want to be where your truth  some times lies through your teeth they pass how will they ever last lick and love them all the same i just love the taste of your truth make your mouth one with mine i want to be where your truth sometimes lies

  i love the press of a lip to another  to anothers lips a twist  a gathering  of a kiss 

 ……. i climb a rotting withering vine  to heaven  as i ascend  it breaks and the top falls over steady and sturdy  i do not know the unreachable ceiling so tall all has fallen  and I know naught of the break  I will never reach Yet

  tired of hearing when i talk  towards you i have a block i don’t know what to say anymore  nothing matters  but i’m not depressed i just feel alone with what i own in my chest my heart hears all and it knows a lonely call there’s nothing i’m meant to do but love the sky’s truthful hues tired of hearing    when i talk because there’s nothing when i walk in my mind anymore  im confined if truths a door it locked behind me  are the things  that once were comforting converting told of love and life to achieve  that’s not me but now my mind is  spiraling an upwards progress towards nothing i have nothing   tired of hearing when i talk i have nothing to say wish things would be a different way today i know the truth tomorrow maybe so will you  so i stay and pray it’ll all be okay or at least i have changed enough of this life

  im not a bug on the concrete  you don’t miss me with your soft feat of avoiding me it’s inevitable destroying small things  we are small things  small things smaller than can be my mind grows bigger and my heart shrinks  tired of knowing concrete  and what it means  to me we are small  small things  to me we are all all things  can be bigger than me i’m not a bug  on the concrete  you don’t miss me your small thing me, poor me lonely little small thing

  if you can only see people where your face is found then you don’t look for people at all 

  and i would be the bridge   for you to walk to me over me you have a hold of me is the edge of my self  cold to grasp don’t tell and    i won’t ask i feel like i’m a bridge sitting at the edge of me waiting for you  step my way  and not complain  i won’t walk to you  i don’t talk to you but i tell oh i say  the truth is i lay myself at your feet everyday and wait  for you  to walk over me to walk over me is all you do so why don’t you choose to finally reach out  and meet me you can’t then sense me under your feet the truth is i lay  everyday and wait  for you

 gleaming faces stand before places I attempt to purge  of the impure they reflect all I wish to release until I believe there is no way to please them I walk through the doors they pretend not to be and begin to see What is really in front of me?

  my tongue is too heavy i cannot hold it up waiting for truth weighted with lies i have not given the source of myself  even a second to express or surprise   i have dismissed and diminished  the best part of my person my tongue is too heavy  i can’t press it in the right position  i listened too long  and now a scale sits  in my heads home i know the depth of my diction and how any revealing of the mind in my mouth  would kill everything around me with certain conviction  perfection is poison and i will not hold you to it like i hold my own  my mouth is so full  because without fulfillment  my articulation grows to despise  and see through all you meant every single thing you surmise  about the world  you are clueless  and i cannot wait to bite your tongue and be done with you god please give me the courage to see this through i wish to speak only blue through this